“There is always a lesson in every journey..the key is how will you learn from it and grow.”
We’re set to be induced on July 28th. Yes, seven days from now. When we set the date on Friday I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety almost immediately. I honestly didn’t know where to put this energy, emotions and feelings. I remember thinking, “Wow, this has been a long journey.” When we first found out we were pregnant, we were overjoyed. Then suddenly its like everything that a woman could possibly experience happened during this pregnancy. Both the good and bad.
So this caused me to start thinking about all the lessons I’ve learned over the past 252 days of pregnancy (259/260 when we deliver)
Lesson # 7
I know for me when I first learned about the good news several things happened. First, I was so excited that I wanted to tell everyone that matters to me. Secondly, I became an instant researcher. I mean all things baby, mommy and pregnancy. Google became my instant friend. Lastly, I wanted to know about everyone else’s experience including my mothers, close friends and sometimes even random strangers in Starbucks, aqua aerobics or wherever I met someone that wanted to talk about pregnancy.
I personally think its okay to share what can be the most exciting experience besides getting married or actually giving birth with people. Besides, people who care and love you want to share in your joy. However, what happened with me is that I started to consume all of the lessons, journeys, feelings and thoughts of all these other people. In other words I started comparing my pregnancy with everyone else.
I soon learned that this was one of the biggest mistakes and lessons I could learn. “My pregnancy is solely my own.” While granted some things are generic to pregnancy like morning sickness, sleepiness, loss of energy, mood swings, etc. the fact remains that even those most common symptoms might not even apply to you. For example, I really didn’t have morning sickness, but I slept sometimes 10-11 hours in the first trimester somedays. I also had a few days of severe bleeding that caused me to go to the emergency room. While these are common to some they are not to everyone.
So being the inquisitive person that I am, I took to the Internet, talked to other people, joined blogs, mommy groups, read books. You name it I did it. And while some of this was helpful, it was also causing me unnecessary anxiety. I remember at week 10 of my pregnancy a mommy Facebook group I belonged too, more than 15 women had miscarriages that week and all left the group. I remember reading their stories, glued to Facebook. I was so distraught and then immediately became worried about every little thing with my own pregnancy. No one tells you that if you miscarry there is really nothing you can do to prevent this. As unfortunate as it is, it can be your journey.
Well, for me it took maybe 6 months of this pregnancy for me to stop asking everyone’s opinions and thoughts and taking to the Internet to research my latest infatuation besides talking to my doctors and nurses. Now don’t get me wrong, I think it’s alright to share, learn from others and gain insight. I’m simply saying recognize early on that, “Their experience may not be your own.” And not to allow yourself to compare your pregnancy experience with others. My pregnancy has fortunately turned out for the most part to be incredible, but I recognize that I could have been that person who loss her baby at 10 weeks. As cliche as it may sound, “Everything happens for a reason,” so does nurturing a beautiful soul for 9-10 months.
So now when a new mom stops me and asks, “How was your pregnancy?” I don’t give them all the lowdown personal struggles I went through like preeclampsia, I instead share what I said above, Take it from me, learn and grow on your own without the distractions of others. Enjoy your pregnancy journey and learn from your journey so that you become a better person and Mother. Then my biggest piece of advice is drink lots of water!!
Everyone’s journey is different. Walk your own and enjoy it.